Developing good communication skills is a vital part of every success journey. Through different forms of communication, we are constantly looking for ways of connecting with others and therefore, ways to progress on our life’s journey. It is through these connections that we are able to live a more meaningful life and experience true growth. We can use words, actions, music, writing, or even a look to let the other person know what we are thinking and feeling. When we, or the person we are interacting with, lack certain communication skills, the outcome of those interactions will be negative and can do major damage to our confidence. The same confidence we use to move along our personal pathway in life.
So how can prevent negative communication from holding us back in life? We start by looking at how we communicate with ourselves. We can’t control what others are going to say to us, but we can control what we are saying to ourselves. It is the daily conversations that we are having with ourselves that will either build up our confidence or tear it down. It is not easy to achieve but, a positive mindset is a superpower that we ALL can have. It is achieved by consciously choosing to speak in a positive manner to yourself EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I want to share with you three tips to help boost your confidence through the way you communicate with yourself.
- Daily Affirmations – About 10 years ago a video went viral of a little girl standing on the bathroom vanity, looking in the mirror, and saying her daily affirmations. The video is called “Jessica’s Daily Affirmation” and if you haven’t seen it yet I suggest you take a moment and watch it. I thought it was so cute, but only recently have I realized how ahead of her time Jessica was. When you begin your day with reminding yourself of who you are and what you can do, you will fuel your confidence enough to withstand the negativity you are bound to face. Start by writing down 3-5 attributes that you may not believe but are true. To help you get started, I will give you 3 that are 100% true for everyone,
1) I matter
2) I am loved
3) I can and I will…
Once you have your affirmations written down, put them somewhere you will see them often. Repeat each affirmation 10x each morning. It might be awkward at first, but it will change the way you communicate with yourself in a positive way.
- Change the questions you are asking yourself – My business coach and mentor, Jeff Heggie taught me that in order to have a positive mindset you have to ask yourself the right questions. If I am going through a hard time in my business, the first thing he will ask me is what questions am I asking myself. Are the questions formed in such a way to promote positive, productive answers? Or are they formed using negative words that promote self-destructive behavior? For example, notice the difference between these two questions,
1) How am I going to do everything that is required of me in so little time?
2) What is the one thing that I can do in the next ten minutes, to take me one step closer to my goal?
Notice how the first question has a negative tone and is setting yourself up to give up because you can’t see how you are going to do it? The second question is focusing on how to achieve a positive outcome. A baby step forward is still forward movement and you will ALWAYS be better off taking it than not. For more information about how asking yourself the right questions will lead you to have a positive mindset, head over to Jeff Heggie Coaching.
- “Other people’s opinion of you is none of your business!” Rachel Hollis
The very first self-help book I ever read was “Girl, Go Wash Your Face” by Rachel Hollis. If you are familiar with Rachel at all, you will know that her favorite catch phrase is, “Other people’s opinions about you are none of your business!!” I absolutely love this saying because there is so much truth to it. If you get in the habit of living for other people’s good opinion of you, then what is going to happen if those people don’t agree with your actions? Does that make what you are doing wrong? Does that mean that you can no longer have confidence in what you are doing?? NO!!! On the flip side, you CAN’T let negative feedback, especially from someone that doesn’t even know you, stop you from progressing in life. This is way easier said than done, but if you remind yourself every single morning that what those people are saying about you is literally none of your business, you will be less apt to focus on what they are saying and focus more on what you are doing. If you do not know who Rachel Hollis is, I highly recommend check her out and reading at least one of her books. https://msrachelhollis.com/
I hope that these three tips will help you on developing your communication skills with yourself. As you make these three tips into daily routines, you will be able to develop a positive mindset and you see your self-confidence grow a little bit each and every day!
Remember, SUCCESS IS not what you achieved, but WHO YOU BECAME along the way.